Fairy Painting Murano Fernando Rafael Muñoz Díaz
There is no reason to justify the attitude of Helena. I looked carefully, all sorts of arguments, ruling on each of them, even going back on any that might have been modified by the logic of a post or the appearance of some new factor or condition. And if I was to justify its conduct in the light of careful reflection, an impossible, trying to understand the reason for its action was set a chimera. Seven were not supporting inherent in the nature of Helena, many were discarded for having a condition that the facts are not presented, two were dismissed as implausible.
As it happened, the only way that I had was to get into the skin of Helena, go into your thoughts, penetrate their sufferings, their hopes dive in, hopefully with his illusions, folded with their weaknesses , revel in your joys, share their projects, visit their routines, coping with failures. What would you choose as a starting point of my journey into my beloved? No doubt what was to be more aware. In this category could locate the routine the aspirations and failures. The first because I shared five intense years of his life, the second and the third simply because he has expressed to me. However, I chose the former, who was absolutely objective and certainly more complete than the other two. Helena
like waking up early, the curtains of your apartment stay lifted, so that the dawn enters the room and announces a time of upheaval. The breakfast is brief but restful, a big cup of black coffee, a few toasts, cottage cheese and entertainment sections, culture, society and some political journal The Nation, possibly change the reading when a book has caught . For the exact course sixty-minute jog around the Plaza de la Misericordia and concludes with a quick hot shower. Walk about five blocks to the subway station that will in Plaza de Mayo. Reluctantly greets the doorman, the safety insinuársele not stop at the receptionist who can not stand because he says he is a gossip, a few fellow pedants and only smiles when he meets Miriam, her friend, her confidant. Archiva, type, edit, send and receive folders full of gray paper. At one, with Miriam, Arlt walk to the plaza to eat an apple, a yogurt or a cereal bar, and talk of men, novels and chismoserías farandulezcas. Of two to five files, type in, edit, send and receive folders full of gray paper. On his return, to travel sitting, waiting for a subway again, flirting with a blond visually habituated schedule, read a book, a thriller regularly. Walk to the Chinese supermarket, buy milk, vegetables, pastas and meat occasionally. Spreads on the couch, drink coffee, look at the novel's seven and a bit of news, turn off the TV, preparing food, always with vegetables, a glass of chilled white wine, set the table, eat slowly maddening, lava dishes. Spreads back in his chair, calls me, tells me the same thing every day, the heat of the subway, the idiot security, the unbearable the chief and his arbitrary, fleeting boyfriends Miriam, gray papers. Distant sighs, asks me about my day, his voice is weak, tired. He greets me, tells me he loves me, it sounds sincere but sad. He falls asleep with the book in his lap, turns off the light at three o'clock. Four days repeated every one of their actions almost perfectly, the fifth is equal to five. Miriam and another companion advantage after hours, drink beer, destroy any woman, any man sigh, guess on the novel, the celebrity gossip and want to live like Sex and the City. Like all starts Saturday. Walk about five blocks to the subway station that will in Boedo. Lunch with her mom, speak of the routine, I suffer from the absence of his father. Go home, sleep until seven, get up, drink coffee, call me, we combine the meeting time and place, showering, grooming takes an hour, sometimes hour and a half if you did not like the image that would return the mirror. We met, dined, danced, we huddled in my apartment. I leave the blinds raised, the sun wakes me first at her and shook up unsuccessfully for twenty minutes. Purchase invoices, we kill, we go to my parents to eat barbecue. Take a nap, she talks to Marta, my mom. I get up, we kill, accompanied her to the house, we ate empanadas. I say goodbye. So far reviewed the routine could see no solution to my questions.
trivially repeat what they yearn to live as one of the characters in the series Sex and the City, but more like a game, I think, as has been said countless times that mom would be very happy, but for some reason, and mixed longing and weakness here, do not feel prepared to face motherhood. I see a light here, deepen: What can make her think she's not ready? We might say, has only twenty-five, but there seems a strong argument, there are women who are, and do so with enough poise, mother at a young age, teens to mature quickly. We could also argue their fear suffering, confinement would cower. Nor should we rule out that this is a completely independent person who makes use of their freedoms in full, as it has been expressed in the daily routine, and bear the responsibility of raising a child would take away autonomy, limited . I have dealt with motherhood, one of the possible triggers, but do not dismiss the fear of suffering, I lean more on the side of conditioned life. Duality "I want to be and stop being to" has disturbed or at least has been conflicted, to undertake a pregnancy, already implies the same kind, sharing, dividing chromosomes (although this is negligible), share (again I find no other synonym that better expresses the fact) for months the body, sharing time, space, joys, sorrows, fears. I have not helped me too with comments like: "How beautiful are the other guys ..."
were also added in their desires, one that, more generally it is less strong, and I talk about Happiness, well written with a capital letter, because we talked about it long and it is certainly unavoidable in it (who do you not?). It is clear that neither the path nor the goal that leads to happiness is for each person the same, so to speak means happiness for Helena performed, diffuse matter if you like, be labor, access to a management position as a mother made (with the reservations mentioned above), performed as a woman, sexually and emotionally speaking (from a modern view, but, in my opinion, incomplete, because in its very nature has registered their maternal role, a role that every month he recalls his own body). In the list are added to keep a family together. Finally after many twists and despite the statement, I concluded that happiness for Helena not too distant from that of ordinary mortals.
determined that the failures, labor, although much remains to be done, losing twice row the ability to take a senior position has been frustrating for her. In this and motherhood was circumscribed, in my opinion, the so far failure. And it came off as a woman have been done and have a strong family is clearly his greatest joys, and children, some of those little routines previously reported. Among its projects
chose: a car, own department, college and resume writing a book. None of them, in my opinion, you lose sleep.
far I have spoken of hopes, dreams, weaknesses, joys, plans, routines and failures, I rest inside in their suffering. The first thing is to be determined lost his father two years ago was a blow, were very close, has suffered greatly since the offense. Another is the difficulty to maintain their slim figure, suffering eating yogurcito and manzanita, knowing that a calorie suffer more loses his way. I did not find any other that is meaningful.
As you see, I have studied and reviewed extensively their lives without a reason, cause or justification strong enough to explain why Helen killed two days ago me pushing me off the balcony of his house while I was changing a light bulb climbed the ladder . Course has passed me a reason. This morning I visited Gabriel and I said down there that have commented on the news that liberated Helena, a young voyeur who spied on her usually has submitted a film of when I pushed off the balcony, which clearly is encountered with the framework window and falls on the stairs leading to my leap into the void, that Helena has confirmed his statement that running to the railing, because Thomas, the kitten puppy I gave, was poking his head dangerously through the bars, he stumbled.
think that I had to insist so much to agree with Thomas, to convince her that she would accompany an animal and that in those moments when loneliness hurts, would console. Here I have talked about destiny, the will of the eternal, but I can not get out of my head what my dad said: "Juan Carlos, Stop fooling around with the animals."
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Why? by Fernando Murano is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-SinDerivadas 3.0 Unported.
Based on a play in fernandomurano.blogspot.com .
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